Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.
We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Our standard approach involves a threat level of always elevated, followed by an incident report written in paw prints, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
If you take only one thing from this, take this: patrols that begin at 3 AM sharp is not a bug. It is the product.
If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.
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