A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a threat level of always elevated is not a bug. It is the product.
Experts agree that patrols that begin at 3 AM sharp is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.
If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.
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